Posted in pets

Open letter to Chip Munk

Dear furry friend,

I know the number of rodents has skyrocketed locally, with warmer weather sending you all outdoors to look for food. It’s important to feed your growing little babies, so it’s okay with me if you leave a mess of seed casings on the sidewalk. And I don’t mind if you steal some kitty crunchies from the cat’s bowl in the garage. But where I draw the line is between the stone wall and the driveway, and anywhere near the house and cars.

You seem to think that the stone wall isn’t secure enough to store your harvest. The problem is that you have gathered seeds and stored them in places that otherwise should be off limits to you.

You made a deposit of food in my car.

I know it was you because the ants wouldn’t find the inside of my car’s garbage bag edible. You did, and you ate a hole in the bottom so the rest of the garbage in the bag fell out, all over the car’s carpeting.

Even that I can overlook – sort of – because maybe you’ve got a big family to feed. But you didn’t have to move in and make yourself at home. You could have made a much nicer shelter in any crevice of the stone wall, one with much more storage space underground.

Nope, you had to go and build a home right where I can now smell the leftovers from your last meal, every time I turn on the car’s heating and ventilation system.

I know it was you because the auto service guy found your nest in the ventilation filter. There was one of your brethren still in the filter. The nest had to be removed, so we had to evict him.

He won’t be coming back, not ever.

A lot was torn out of the glove compartment so that the filter could be removed. It took the auto mechanic man more than an hour to extricate your relative from my car and put a clean, new filter in.

You have no idea how much the funeral for your relative cost me, so keep your paws off my wheels, Chippie. Or I’ll have your stripes!



a little off-center, but full of good intentions